Precociousness!

Precociousness! - I know there is precocious in English dictionary and so I hope to god there is also precociousness- otherwise I might get some unflattering comments on my blog.

What am i talking about? It does have a specific contest. A few days ago, I had to make my first conference call- it was low priority- engagement with the media.

I had been the one who initiated and kept in touch with the person and so it was natural that i would be the person who'd speak first. Normally, I'd have started like this-

"Hi, This is Abhirup Saha, calling from Grail Research" "...." "How are you, sir/madam?" "..." " Is this a right time to talk?" "..." " let me introduce you to two of my colleagues- **** , of the Human Assets and ****, our Project Manager."

What I managed was a pathetic "Hi,this is Abhirup Saha, from Grail..." and straight into "I have with me ****, human Assets and ****, our Project Manager" with the voice almost breaking towards the end.

The heart was thumping, the voice was unsure and the unease was apparent.

Hell, there was considerable unease!

But why? I'd been the Placement coordinator- I had talked, interacted professionally with a lot of big-wigs including practice heads, country heads, VPs but every time I came out unscathed. Hell, who am I kidding? I came out pretty good- they all seemed to like me.

I have made presentations, speeches before. There was a time when I was diffident, and used to get really scared about any public engagement. But not now.

Is the past catching up? or is it just that I take a little time to settle down?

Is this the way all batsmen behave when they first walk out to the crease? unsure about their footwork and stance and hand-eye co-ordination? All the centuries and the good work in the past suddenly does not seem to matter?

I could have named this something like "Growing Confidence" but I chose not too. If someone bothers to read this, do let me know whether that title would be more apt. Or you understood why I named it the way I have.