All of us are portraits. Some are being drawn, the canvas almost unblemished, some are complete, resplendent with their colours and some are almost finished, on the verge of getting tested by dust, air and water.
I am one too. I have never looked at mine, because it's impossible to. Most of us don't have a mirror. I suspect none of us do.
I hear descriptions of mine, by admirers and even detractors. Some are flattering, some are not. I love to hear them all. I envy them for knowing more about me than I do. I envy them for being on the other side.
I want to see mine- I know I can't. But the desire never goes away. I get plenty of time. I try to figure myself. Maybe I am like this, I imagine. Then I wait for the next observer. Gives me great pleasure when my diagnosis is proved correct. Well, not every time, especially when he points out things I don't want to hear.
Sometimes I worry the paint is coming off. The dust and the vapours are taking their toll. People touch me- they disturb the surface. Some who care enough redraw me. But only in parts.
The paint is drying.
It feels nice.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Monday, January 21, 2008
Judgement?
Imagine this:
In a small village deep into the Indian hinterland, a senior government official has been caught in a compromising situation with a tribal woman. Enraged tribals take swift action- they maim the perpetrator of sexual exploitation.
Some of us would nod and say "justice done". Some would be shocked at both the events and wonder what the world is coming to. Some (most?) would ignore the news as unimportant to the larger scheme of things. I'd be darn confused.
I can never think of having a physical act with a tribal woman. It's not because I'm a morally uptight young man who holds great promise for himself and the nation. It's because of the doctrine of class.
It is my indoctrination that prevents me from looking at tribal or any working class "lady" in a lustful manner. I cannot get myself to imagine such a thing- its beyond sacrilege. I am clear about their position in my mind- insignificant.
But here is someone who has transcended such a boundary and made love to an inferior class. As long as it is a consensual act, how is he to be blamed? Doesn't it deserve praise, if not emulation? Certainly not reproach, or punishment.
I am not sure about this as I am not sure about most things. The power system in a village is unknown to me. In spite of generalities, what if in a solitary incident, there was no co-ercion involved?
In a small village deep into the Indian hinterland, a senior government official has been caught in a compromising situation with a tribal woman. Enraged tribals take swift action- they maim the perpetrator of sexual exploitation.
Some of us would nod and say "justice done". Some would be shocked at both the events and wonder what the world is coming to. Some (most?) would ignore the news as unimportant to the larger scheme of things. I'd be darn confused.
I can never think of having a physical act with a tribal woman. It's not because I'm a morally uptight young man who holds great promise for himself and the nation. It's because of the doctrine of class.
It is my indoctrination that prevents me from looking at tribal or any working class "lady" in a lustful manner. I cannot get myself to imagine such a thing- its beyond sacrilege. I am clear about their position in my mind- insignificant.
But here is someone who has transcended such a boundary and made love to an inferior class. As long as it is a consensual act, how is he to be blamed? Doesn't it deserve praise, if not emulation? Certainly not reproach, or punishment.
I am not sure about this as I am not sure about most things. The power system in a village is unknown to me. In spite of generalities, what if in a solitary incident, there was no co-ercion involved?
The Challenge of Mediocrity
Picking up threads from my last post on excellence, I wish to say today that I have gradually realised the need for excellence. Mediocrity, unseemly as it may be, is very difficult to accept. Especially to the person himself.
A general trend is noticeable in the more popular forms of expression (books, cinema)- the veneration of excellence is gradually supplanted by an acceptance of difference and even mediocrity. My idea is that when a society develops itself, strives for self-preservation, idolising excellence serves a very important purpose. Acceptance of mediocrity there will be akin to suicide. A very Darwinian process in action.
But as we get affluent, we wish to "go slow" and even consider the unfortunate. We think beyond clothes and shelter and explore the "humanitarian" side. From thereon we question the hitherto veneration of excellence. The grandiose plan to develop a more "inclusive" society where we can envelop who are not the best gradually gets germinated.
It is important to do so. Otherwise it becomes logically difficult to differentiate from other animals. If basic instincts were the sole drivers of our mind, we have no right to declare ourselves "supreme" and just relegate to an intelligent animal being. Human rights, Civil rights, secularism, Animal rights and so on gets its origin from such a "conscience".
But on a personal level, is it easy to accept mediocrity?
I have not been able to.
I have no special abilities. There is nothing I can do better than the average Joe (or Rahul). Therein stems the lack of motivation to do anything; purposefully and with zeal. Everything that you do has the stamp of " just going through the motions".
The initial phase is most depressing. You wish to cry out in despair- hoping the howls would drown out the frustration. Wailing helps- it dries up the energy and makes you numb.
Slowly the drudgery bores you. The mind gets restless. Sometimes you wish to do silly things, go mad (only for a while) if it gives you some respite. It only works for a while. Controlled insanity hardly helps.
You take recourse to sadism. In an aggressive mood, you wish to hit out. In an acerbic state, your tongue does the lashing. Pinching comments here and there, under the garb of "humour" and "tease", achieves the ephemeral pleasure of causing discomfort and pain to others.
"Love" may hit you. An uncontrollable release of emotions - perhaps mankind's highest state of emotional responsiveness. Alas, a true "mediocre" is mediocre here too, in the art of love. Practical considerations also mean the mediocre loses his love to the magnificent.
I fail to see any reason, a purpose behind this meaningless and perhaps more significantly tortuous existence. Amusingly, the mediocre seeks solace in time. He makes himself to believe time will wash it all away, redress it all.
With time, he finds out the inevitable- that time doesn't help, as does nothing else. A bore well of a life doesn't even offer depth to rescue from nothingness.
The mediocre is sometimes a coward. He does not have the courage to do what is necessary.
A general trend is noticeable in the more popular forms of expression (books, cinema)- the veneration of excellence is gradually supplanted by an acceptance of difference and even mediocrity. My idea is that when a society develops itself, strives for self-preservation, idolising excellence serves a very important purpose. Acceptance of mediocrity there will be akin to suicide. A very Darwinian process in action.
But as we get affluent, we wish to "go slow" and even consider the unfortunate. We think beyond clothes and shelter and explore the "humanitarian" side. From thereon we question the hitherto veneration of excellence. The grandiose plan to develop a more "inclusive" society where we can envelop who are not the best gradually gets germinated.
It is important to do so. Otherwise it becomes logically difficult to differentiate from other animals. If basic instincts were the sole drivers of our mind, we have no right to declare ourselves "supreme" and just relegate to an intelligent animal being. Human rights, Civil rights, secularism, Animal rights and so on gets its origin from such a "conscience".
But on a personal level, is it easy to accept mediocrity?
I have not been able to.
I have no special abilities. There is nothing I can do better than the average Joe (or Rahul). Therein stems the lack of motivation to do anything; purposefully and with zeal. Everything that you do has the stamp of " just going through the motions".
The initial phase is most depressing. You wish to cry out in despair- hoping the howls would drown out the frustration. Wailing helps- it dries up the energy and makes you numb.
Slowly the drudgery bores you. The mind gets restless. Sometimes you wish to do silly things, go mad (only for a while) if it gives you some respite. It only works for a while. Controlled insanity hardly helps.
You take recourse to sadism. In an aggressive mood, you wish to hit out. In an acerbic state, your tongue does the lashing. Pinching comments here and there, under the garb of "humour" and "tease", achieves the ephemeral pleasure of causing discomfort and pain to others.
"Love" may hit you. An uncontrollable release of emotions - perhaps mankind's highest state of emotional responsiveness. Alas, a true "mediocre" is mediocre here too, in the art of love. Practical considerations also mean the mediocre loses his love to the magnificent.
I fail to see any reason, a purpose behind this meaningless and perhaps more significantly tortuous existence. Amusingly, the mediocre seeks solace in time. He makes himself to believe time will wash it all away, redress it all.
With time, he finds out the inevitable- that time doesn't help, as does nothing else. A bore well of a life doesn't even offer depth to rescue from nothingness.
The mediocre is sometimes a coward. He does not have the courage to do what is necessary.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Welcome to the land of the plenty!
I write this piece with great apprehension. If this ever gets out to the comrades at JNU, they'd lynch me at broad daylight. Well, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt- they are right, of course.
The title probably gives it away. Yes, probably after all these years, we've arrived. It took us some time. I shudder to think of what our fathers and granddads have gone through- no brands, zero choice in cars and not even coke (I mean only the cola and nothing else). No Subways, Macdonalds or KFC. Probably very little in terms of pre marital sex (imagine you're 28 and still relying on your hands!) and though they had ample compensation after the wedlock, I'm sure it was more of a perfunctory nature and not much fun involved.
Malnutrition was a problem then. "Doodh pee le beta"- the onus was on gaining around the waists. People used to play on the grounds- no, not just in school or college (which still goes on) but in neighborhood playgrounds. Chee! I mean how can you expect children of all kinds to mix like that? I'm sure that's why so many people use expletives (and in Hindi, too). We see hardly of that today. Sure, there are expletives in the American, but they are hardly the same as those crude hinterland ones.
Record numbers go to VLCC today. Everyone is trying to be on a diet- its honestly difficult. We even have Wimpy's. Burger King is about to come. Neighborhood playgrounds? you can play anytime on the computer. Why would someone try to fraternize with the neighbors when you can make friends with the whole wide world? And there's so much variety. The oldies had only cricket (Hockey and football in some places, Tennis for the fortunate). We have skateboarding, skiing, soccer, ice hockey, basketball, stealing cars, killing people- all without breaking into sweat. Literally cool.
Hands are also not so handy anymore. There are people willing to lend their mouths, who the hell will use their hands? And we have pills baba. Very effective ones too, without side-effects that plagued the generations last.
We don't need monsters to play our music. Now they come in Nano sizes. We get so much music in our cars now and now with a Nano car, things are only going to get a little louder. Jobs? This is where we rock! Engineering, medicine, IAS? ha! Anything can get you a job. You just have to have the right attitude! (by the way, there has been tomes written on figuring out what is right, and the unanimous declaration is the right candidate must not introduce himself/herself as "Myself...")
Our dads and grandies used to look at the skies for DAs (Dearness Allowances). We do the same, but for 30% pay hikes year-on-year. Makes people laugh that often the dudes start at a pay on which their dads retire. To the geezers, a career meant stability. Five-six, even ten years in one job was mandatory. I see adverts seeking people with 4 months of job experience.
Holding hands in public was taboo. Having a baby before marraige is taboo now.
Yet we are "frustated". I see no reason why not.
P.S.- Let me put all this in the right perspective. I count myself as one of the "frustated" lot (honestly). Rarely a day passes without me fretting over how things could have been better. All this in spite of knowing that very few (still) get what is written above or what I have.
The title probably gives it away. Yes, probably after all these years, we've arrived. It took us some time. I shudder to think of what our fathers and granddads have gone through- no brands, zero choice in cars and not even coke (I mean only the cola and nothing else). No Subways, Macdonalds or KFC. Probably very little in terms of pre marital sex (imagine you're 28 and still relying on your hands!) and though they had ample compensation after the wedlock, I'm sure it was more of a perfunctory nature and not much fun involved.
Malnutrition was a problem then. "Doodh pee le beta"- the onus was on gaining around the waists. People used to play on the grounds- no, not just in school or college (which still goes on) but in neighborhood playgrounds. Chee! I mean how can you expect children of all kinds to mix like that? I'm sure that's why so many people use expletives (and in Hindi, too). We see hardly of that today. Sure, there are expletives in the American, but they are hardly the same as those crude hinterland ones.
Record numbers go to VLCC today. Everyone is trying to be on a diet- its honestly difficult. We even have Wimpy's. Burger King is about to come. Neighborhood playgrounds? you can play anytime on the computer. Why would someone try to fraternize with the neighbors when you can make friends with the whole wide world? And there's so much variety. The oldies had only cricket (Hockey and football in some places, Tennis for the fortunate). We have skateboarding, skiing, soccer, ice hockey, basketball, stealing cars, killing people- all without breaking into sweat. Literally cool.
Hands are also not so handy anymore. There are people willing to lend their mouths, who the hell will use their hands? And we have pills baba. Very effective ones too, without side-effects that plagued the generations last.
We don't need monsters to play our music. Now they come in Nano sizes. We get so much music in our cars now and now with a Nano car, things are only going to get a little louder. Jobs? This is where we rock! Engineering, medicine, IAS? ha! Anything can get you a job. You just have to have the right attitude! (by the way, there has been tomes written on figuring out what is right, and the unanimous declaration is the right candidate must not introduce himself/herself as "Myself...")
Our dads and grandies used to look at the skies for DAs (Dearness Allowances). We do the same, but for 30% pay hikes year-on-year. Makes people laugh that often the dudes start at a pay on which their dads retire. To the geezers, a career meant stability. Five-six, even ten years in one job was mandatory. I see adverts seeking people with 4 months of job experience.
Holding hands in public was taboo. Having a baby before marraige is taboo now.
Yet we are "frustated". I see no reason why not.
P.S.- Let me put all this in the right perspective. I count myself as one of the "frustated" lot (honestly). Rarely a day passes without me fretting over how things could have been better. All this in spite of knowing that very few (still) get what is written above or what I have.
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