The Thing with Art

Now I really don't know what art (in the universal sense) means- but I do know what constitutes art to me. Memorable cinema, an eminently readable book (prose), music, a piece of sculpture that makes you feel so damn inferior that you wish to die (!!!), the art of capturing the world through lenses (photography) and of course art itself (paintings). There are dramas, poems, and a variety of other things that qualify as art bust since I am ignorant of these mediums, I won't consider them here as I really don't have anything to offer on them.
I am at a stage of life where one questions oneself- what is going to be the driving force? What is going to be that single-minded pursuit that makes you wish to live a little longer, die a little later?

For me the late realisation has been art. I am late at this game, but hopefully not too late. I have had so far exposure to very low brow stuff- but then I am born in a country that boasts of neither the Gallic flair or the American ingenuity.

There are perhaps two ways to the high pursuit of art- eclectics or the esoteric. For me, the time has not yet come to make such a decision. The two-year old kid does not decide between Oxford or Cambridge. I am at a cultural infancy and it could take a decade before I reach the stage where I may have to chose either.

Now why art?

Honestly enough, though it may seem to be a logical conclusion for a Bengali rice-eater, its sheer enjoyment that drives me to this goal. All I am valiantly trying to project here is that it is not the cultural pull or the omipresent desire to be cool is driving me. Or at least that is what I think.

As for coolness, honestly put, I move in a company that hardly appreciates my diligence. People ridicule me when I see an excellent movie twice in the theatre and throw up their hands when I refuse to give in to their pleas to accompany them to very below-average movies. To illustrate, I'd watch the Rashomon as many times as possible to grasp the narrative and the finesse of the craft but choose not to watch the regular potboiler. This is not to say I avoid all blockbuster material. In fact, I make it a point to see them. I value the presence of stars (the ones who can act) and find their utilisation a key aspect of the craft.

Coming back to what I was saying, all this is not helping me get cool. Its making me alone.

Interestingly, a very good friend of mine is much higher on the art scale than I am. Yet through some way, he retains all his old friends who have not, obviously, been on the same pursuit. He switches between avatars with remarkable ease. So in front of women, he'll be the gentle soft-spoken cultured guy. In front of me and another good friend (I like to think of us as the triumvirate, but both of them frown on it, as it affects their homophobic sensibilities!) who share the same tastes, he's the guy we like and know- the analytical, argumentative, radical and the really well read Sid. And in front of the guys, he is a raucous fellow showering expletives, one-liners, puns, toilet humour and yes, unsolicitously toughening them up (by simply taking them on fights- it helps he's huge)

Now I can be many different people too. But definitely not with ease. I have acted in my time (nothing so grand- skits and all) but those are meant for the stage. My general personality remains the same, except as someone very close alleged, it changes quite a lot over time.

So with this unvarying persona, I am finding it difficult to reconcile my sole aim in life with the very necessary need to make friends.

A difficult existence.

What bothers more that it is out of choice.